26 June 2010



I remembered scruples, intense morals back at home, recalled with a pain of almost nostalgic regret that this was undoubtedly the most wonderful but bitter experience. My entire childhood life; as a girl I was as innocent as a lark, like everyone intended me to be and I was too naive to even understand a hurdle existed in my secret place. Oh, I'm getting ahead of myself. That's not what I am here to talk about.

I no longer knew myself, no longer knew if I was still in the present world or that I had crossed over to the world beyond. It was as though, finally, my life had been turned upside down with my sight lost for several minutes. Sermons heard in my twenty six years of life was proved worthless, as I asked God if He had abandoned me and there was no light to show me the way out of this formless blackness in which I found myself. This experience I'm about to share with you happened to me. It's a thing about being too much of an homely girl who never got out to any where except from school-to-tutorials-to-church services. Though there were frequent trips to theaters-amusement parks-family friends birthday parties - with someone watching my back and my every move. Away from my family, I went to another big city which was where I had been born to make a new life. And this isolated life style as you may call it has become part and parcel of me. Quite a few friends, no clubbing, no parties, except on few occasions when I was forced down to some wedding ceremonies with my few friends threatening to desert me if I don't come along. It's always book-book-book!

On Saint Valentine's Day, I left my little apartment to join a boyfriend of mine, a social worker, who had an offer from a group from United States to bring homeless children from his organization to watch movies at the city Centre Mall, and recieve lots of gifts.
"Aunt Dammy, Aunt Dammy!" 
The kids adored me because of my absolute concern with their problems. The reason I was invited to come along in the first place. The high, harsh sun nailed the afternoon, to the city. Still, that didn't deter the flurry of activities that was usually attached to Saint Valentine's Day. We arrived the venue; as we entered eye catching, beautiful things came to view and then I came face to face with my first terror. I looked around the building it was circled with an Escalator which I called moving stairs in my crazy mind. I've never come face to face with it though I had seen it in movies and had read about it in novels. How was I supposed to climb through successfully? My heart began to thump loudly. Arms clasped across my belly, and gaze focused upon the steps I watched nervously, gesturing around me at hordes of chattering Pedestrians streaming in and out of the Mall. No one would have believed that a gorgeously dressed and beautiful lady like me couldn't climb the steps and that was why I remained in a spot. A pair of shoulder length earrings and ankle strap heels that lifted my ankles up to my throat.
"Did I say heels?"
Precisely, the problem I had. I could just imagine myself tripping over in those heels the moment I set my feet on the escalator and tumbling over. I noted some pedestrians amused expression as they passed by and took a second look at me. I swear they must thought me a village lass, just beautifully dressed up. My tension increased when I discovered that the people I came with had left me. Gosh, how was I supposed to make it back home if I miss them? I had no penny on me. Now I had to make a decision or else I would be stranded! It is not right to think that I had lived a good girl all these years only to be this highly, humiliated! Not knowing what to do instantly,  I walked the gigantic Mall in case I could spot a staircase, unfortunately, there was none to my dismay. This confusion was unlike anything I had ever experienced I mustered my courage eventually, and mounted the escalator and the first foray sent me stumbling profusely. And if it wasn't for the pedestrian directly behind my back, who held me, I would have rolled over and landed back on the floor. With so much eyes on me, incessantly, I breathed a sigh of apprehension as the escalator lifted me to the  theater floor. I had mounted, but how on earth was I to get down? But of course, I staggered while stepping off the escalator. With face glistening from perspiration, I scanned the theater hall. My boyfriend, who led us here was waiting for me with my own pop-corn and the other goodies he got for me. Just as I was about relaying my encounter to him, he disappeared into the theater after handling me my stuff, like some flashes of lightning that crossed my vision briefly.

The theater turned out to be my second terror. I had entered the theater blindly, and now I couldn't make out anything. I turned in panic, hands outstretched forward before me into the darkness like a blind man who has lost his walking stick. Walking unsteadily on my legs like the child who was about to learn to take his first step in life, I looked for something to hold on to. But there was nothing. No light showed any where. It was as though I had crossed to the world beyond. No voices, yet people were in the hall, no footsteps, nothing stirred. I wanted to run back outside, but there was no open door.  Every where was eerily dark. I shed hot tears profusely for I was greatly terrified. What kind of experience was this? I was supposed to be in a theater  where every other people would be but it happened I was lost in the dark of a theater! A sudden grip on my wrist made every frightened part of my body scream out loud, and I wanted to break into a frantic run but the grip on me was firm.
"Dammy, what is the matter with you?"
Quietly, asked the voice with awe. I recognized it at once. It was my friend's voice. I looked up wildly  anxious, searching for his face, and gradually, there was light. I could see his face clearly. He led me to the roll where they were all seated. God! This shame would never wear off!

While they all enjoyed the movies, my mind was on how to go through the escalator the second time. Hours gone by and everything was over. The moment I appeared, a Security Guard came beside me, after a quick curtsy to me, he took hold of my hand and gently showed me how to ply the escalator without any fuss. So, they all had been watching!? What a note of embarrassment. Sure as hell, they had me in their surveillance cameras to have been waiting for me to emerge from the theater. I left the Mall in low spirit swearing on a stack of bibles never to make such an outing again. Is that really the solution people? Your feed back count.

Quite funny encounter, right?



25 June 2010


Josh was already getting stuck with funny ideas. He was so fed up with seeing himself the same in the stagnant spot so he wanted a dramatic change. A dramatic change? Isn't there price for that? Nevertheless, he found himself springing into a course of action which proved highly unsuccessful still. He was looking at his problems and seeing no way around it.

You must be wondering what I'm rambling on about this Friday morning. Well, I was trying to tell you a story about unfortunate young man, but couldn't get that out quite. But am going to you leave you something for the weekend.

 "There is no way round your problems but I tell you there is  a way through it"

 You have climbed mountains and there should be turning point. But from being near the end of your misfortune, you have just only begun. There is more to the challenges you have been rising to, or it leads inescapably on to yet another, bigger one that slowly drains your energy and kills your dream.
Well, my dear brother and sister I say endure some more. I feel God is doing you a favor. Because when you get lot of your grief over and done with early on in life, there will less to grieve about the hard way later on in life.

My departing words this morning, be inspired by how far you have come and you can start looking forward to where you have to go next. The rewarding part of a journey is head.

Light can shine even in the darkest corridors sometimes...


24 June 2010


No matter how sumptuous the meal you are served, you won't enjoy it if you have just one minute to devour it, because there is battle for you to fight. I hope you are not thinking I meant food in the real sense, are you? No. Meal here, is just the metaphor in comparison to the short story I'm about to share with you.

The meeting required they meet at his office, which was fine by her. The office was located, in one of the prestigious area in the city. She was a graduate fresh from the University with first class. But no luck where ever she turned for employment. The so called middle aged C.E.Os and MDs all wanted a piece of her even though she's got all it takes potentially, to get a job. Her boyfriend of two years recently parted ways with her. They didn't quite fit in many ways. The truth, her past had seemed not move on. Fact, she never loved him from the word go. Now that the loneliness she felt wasn't from outside alone, but from within, which is the worst anyone could feel, she desperately needed a job.

Alas, when she walked into the office clad in a tight-fitted gorgeous green shirt and black pants that flattered her long heels and  square toed heels that added a few inches to her tall and striking  figure, Ridge, (the man) was compelled to stare at her. Leslie, was quite a "beauty" but great, great beauty, Ridge was. He was tall and huge. His boyish  looks had a touch of class, and his oval face was complemented by his pointed nose. However, he struggled to dissolve his rather rude stare into the look of professional curiosity. Somewhat to Leslie relief, Ridge spoke not in the tongue of men who encouraged the trade of flesh for position. He talked nicely. He was a well groomed middle aged man with excellent abilities.
"At the moment, we are not employing people. I only asked you to bring your CV for keeps in case anything comes up," he said.
So that was it. She left but they remained in contacted and began building up friendship. Every morning, it was Ridges's text messages that woke Leslie up from bed like the early morning birds.

More amazing pieces, it was her 30th birthday and Ridge was prepared to make it a memorable day for her. (January 18th), eventually she went to meet him at his house where he hosted her. It was a Cinderella treat, she was treated quite fine and thus their love began. The great beauty she thought she knew was actually an extraordinary beauty, but mashed with a severe character flaw. Ridge's bed was shared with different of types of ladies daily.How he did it, she couldn't understand. Each time she caught him, tears would appear in his eye. Those blood shot eyes, their tears, what do they represent?
" Is it that he loves me but can't help himself or that he is just a crafty old player and that is the pattern he has mastered over the years to get the unfortunate women to trust and believe him to still hang on in the relationship?"
 Leslie usually asked herself. But that remained a mystery she could never elucidate. With a melancholic bundle of jealousy and rage, she became a pernicious nagging young woman who wept constantly, talked and talked and pleaded for a change. Rather, he got worse.

Hmm. We can't always have solutions to everything, that's just the fact about life. However, don't put up with something that causes you great discomfort. You are entitled to enjoyment and happiness. Don't be afraid of a change. When there is nothing more to do, open the CHAPTER to "GOODBYE"  or move on within. That's the best thing to do.