14 March 2010
Some of them become our close friends when we least expect and are always eager to please. But then we let them down, we take their presence for granted. And just like nothing ever stays the same, before the blink of an eye they are gone!!!
We question it. And we wish we told them all we wanted to say….
Sleeping by ourselves at night while staring at the ceiling with their picture frame lying on top of our chests…. Mm. Obviously we are lost in thought but it’s too late to hold them now. They are far, far away… Some down below six feet; the others, still among us. Until our eyes, are closed in death we won’t see the dead loved ones but what happened to the friendship developed with the living ones??? Painful enough, our paths shall never cross again….
And some of them are supposed to be the last we make love to. They give us love, give us their best. They are always there when things go wrong. They are our shoulder to cry on. They need us in their lives – we are the reason they live. But no matter what they do, we seem to want to hurt them. We never care a little to hear the whisper of our hearts. And then, they book us out of their minds unable to move on. They are gone because we forgot to be good or proper lovers.
We are regretting….
And the other group; we shook hands with across the desk in their offices… from simple thing, big thing began. However, we are afraid to let them inside. But with the soul-searching intense kissing that often happens with our conscience rushing together, we fall into them with the hope that they would take away our heart aches. A good dream they ought to be but they are using us time after time, being the reason why we wake up from tormenting sleep….
If it wasn’t for the lipstick on their shirts; if it wasn’t for the guy’s cell number in their purses and the incessant love messages that keeps popping in each time we are making love; still we would be chasing shadows. When the heart ache is over we won’t be missing them, we boast to ourselves. Only a matter of time, we would heal and we won’t need them. To some we would never heal though; and the ones with footprint behind, would remain in our memory till death.
We need someone to love, yet we don’t want to get close; we want to escape because we are afraid for our hearts not to be torn in ache over and over again.
Well. I would say we can’t hold on to the past regardless of our demons. The Passers-by… they’ve come to stay. They are integral part of our lives. We will continue to meet for nothing ventured – nothing gained.