We fall in love like fools and we are treated like we are fools, and then get dumped being fools….
We all know that jumping fences and ditches and hedges and stiles and walls is the thrilling part of hunting! But a different ball game when it comes to love. With excited hounds from Hell in pursuit of blameless souls, the henna in the vineyards is blighted before it blooms!
Feeling alone than at any time since her parents passed on, sitting by herself at the train station watching people clambering the mid-afternoon train – suitcase in hand, she was moving on but it wasn’t true. She lifted her head and the sunlight gleamed in the flood of tears down her face. Her grief was strong. With voice cracked and clogged with weeping, she questioned it all.
“Why did he leave me? Oh God!
God, God, he mustn’t! No!”
Vanessa won’t believe he’s gone!
“He loves me,” she often convinced herself.
“He is my friend, my heart of heart. Bessie loves me. He wouldn’t leave me now just when I need him most. Not over a text message!”
Now she didn’t have to explain why she moved on; she just did. It would have been so humiliating to tell her friends the truth. That Bessie had fallen out of love with her. She couldn’t admit what happened to anyone, not even to herself how much it hurt and how much she blamed herself. She felt used and worthless. She could hardly, not harbor thoughts of revenge for Bessie, who was so obviously happy with his new found girlfriend.
Everything had hurt Vanessa. With technology improved beyond imagination, computers with voice enhancement with cams and people being enabled to talk and see anybody anywhere in the world, Bessie and Vanessa met online and dated over the link for some time.
The first time they met in person, Bessie concocted a story around a long standing marriage which has finally ran aground with hot tears stinging behind his eyes.
“God! He is married … I can’t pull out. Not now. Too late!”
She looked up at him and the tears in his dark eyes made her heart turned over.
Vanessa responded with the utmost sympathy and they struck balance at once. She was going to minister to his wounds hoping to be strong in his arms in return, until Mr. Right comes along. Their bodies resonated. They kissed passionately as he slowly removed her clothes. His body entered hers with as much tenderness as lust and she was swept away by his touch, enthralled by the rhythm of the act as much by the man between her knees lolling apart. He was sex in himself.
Vanessa looked lovelier than ever, younger too, with her honey skin glowing. What luck to have found Bessie! With a month gone by, a lot of things changed in their relationship. After all her calls and messages never returned, sending Bessie a jealous filled sms was the only way to get his attention, for he had made no attempt to contact her for weeks
"You've just ended this relationship with your own hands” read Bessie’s reply on her cell phone’s screen.
There was lot of pleading unaccepted while, in Vanessa’s mind, things fell into place.
“Bessie, is this what, you’ve had up your sleeve all these while? Ladies are his joke. And I was just one of your conquest; a feast for his pleasure.”
There was a lump in Vanessa’s throat. “So that’s what it was all about. The gifts, attention and support.”
Vanessa and Bessie were through before they began. He had her fooled good and proper. Nevertheless, Vanessa made sure her pains showed not on her face. As ever, she poured her energy into her work, sowing into her future. She found the courage to let Bessie go! If you love something, she understood, she must not try to hold onto it. She wouldn’t let her bitter experiences cause her to lose her romantic dreaminess. Torn apart like a frock though, she was going to keep on making wishes, being strong, she wouldn’t settle for less until true love she finds and its best. She will keep on holding on….
Ugh ---- wretched luck! Do you find yourself in Vanessa’s shoes and you think hurling yourself onto the road in front of a car and ending it all is the way out?
Heavens no! What could have put such a thought in your head? Or in your own case going into decline over your rough situation is the best solution you could come up with it because it isn’t the first and you doubt it would be the last. Then you cannot and would never find that diamond you crave. It is in the rubbles. It’s like a lily among thorns, I expect you to comprehend better, because that don’t come easy.
Hey, are you still reading? I am not saying you should use a new habit to rid yourself of the old. When you come out of a relationship, wait before starting over again. Get to know the new man that comes your way before you are turned over again. Learn from your mistakes, allowing the past to make it possible. Love with your brain first and then your heart and you won’t end up turning out the same.