Live with Confidence

Look great, feel fantastic and dazzle everyone you meet with your confidence….

First impressions count, whether you are on a hot date, just meeting for discussion over a cup of tea or you are being interviewed for that dream job, one of the first things people notice is your confidence. But I was shocked to found that for some guys this does not count. Rather they are repulsed by corky sorts like me.  Hormone erectus - That was what I called this guy Olumide.

I met him in a dating community. He was a big time guy in the finance section. When we got talking, I found that he was on about commitment, settling down and all that. The thing for me is, I have zeroed my mind on relationships. I promised to be by myself until I can have a sure sense of an affair. Fill the affair with power and confidence, discovering sexual and emotional freedom with a lover who respects me; revel in the tenderness of the union.  Give in my trust, honest and take back. Nevertheless, I didn’t say a word. My sympathetic nature tolerated his erotic dreams and fantasies! I couldn’t tell him what I stand for. I didn’t want him to run off, because I desperately need friendship, someone to take me out of my hole.

I have no life aside from my books, read, write, study, compose music, and sing! And then some girlish behavior that get me jumping in the middle of my mattress whenever I am beyond excited about something. It is this need to talk to someone, to expand the social life that has never been there that takes me to the internet – the meeting community.

Two days to Olumide’s arrival he called and asked me things I would want him to buy for me. This is not a revised story of Segun at all. Olumide bought me all the things I asked of him.

Within the days he would arrive, I quickly contacted Nkem. I knew she was still single since her last messed up relationship.  To my disappointment, she said she wasn’t certain she wanted to move on yet. But trust me I forced the guy on her o! I began to preach to her, not to fail even when she falls… I just wanted the Olumide guy off my neck.  Whether he was handsome and quite loaded, all of that was beyond my keen. I told my girlfriend I would get back to her.

As a person, whatever you want to become in life, it is good to have a sense of purpose, move with people who share your vision and above all have a sure sense of yourself. I saw all the goodies Olumide bought for me. But the meeting wasn’t at all delightful. To start with, he hated everything I stand for; my career, my brilliant instincts for plans to climb to a height of success. And then, as if I haven’t seen enough bullshit my phone rang. It was one of my girlfriends. At the end of the telephone conversation as always  we ended the call with “I love you.”  

That was when Olumide remembered I was sitting in front of him. Trouble began. Only God knows where he put his ears and mind all along that I and my girlfriend were having our girlish talk on the telephone before the “I love you”  that ended the conversation.

You know what this guy did? He picked up his handset to my face, and then put a call through to a girl he called his sweetheart.

“I just called to let you know I love you very much.” He ended the call.

This was the guy that told me he had no one in his damn life, and just that I told someone on the telephone that I love you, he reacted dumbly. Let us assume his mind wasn’t there all that while that I was on the telephone with my girlfriend, couldn’t he ask questions? All the goodies Olumide brought for me, he packed them back, including the littlest things as cookies and chocolate. LOL! Now you see why I referred to him as Hormone erectus? He is a sub-human.  When I decided it was time I take my leave, he didn’t see me off, much more asked the driver to drop me off at the bus station. This was the guy who was all over me when I arrived freshly before he found that I was a woman with power.

People what does guys think???

That every sweet looking ladies are morally decadent ? I’m definitely not cut out for such base life, trading my flesh for material goods.

Having taking on board the lessons of past love dramas – the difference between commitment (a choice of the heart) and attachment (which comes from neediness) am now feeling strong. And in the coming years, I will like to be committed once more, let go of the old and reshape my life, but with chauvinist men, a hormone erectus like Olumide roaming the world, the reward can only be more heartbreaks. This makes it difficult for courage. Imagine if his duplicitous person has succeeded to trigger special feelings within me for him, I would have been badly heartbroken.

With my eyes wide open to make wise choice, I couldn’t choose Olumide for my dear friend who was just recovering from a shattering relationship at the time

Ladies no matter what these bad ones amongst the few sweet ones take from you, do not let them take away your dignity….